🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?